What can Brown do for me?
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I need work, and have put a temporarily fix on the situation by becoming a seasonal driver’s helper for UPS. And the irony factor for my life being what it is, I’m cruising the old haunts of Chamblee, GA a town I am drawn to in one way or another again and again. While the money isn’t stellar, I can do anything for a short time, and can make the most of flying in and out of the jumpseat (definitely using seatbelt each time, as the sidedoor is mostly open and pace is beyond brisk), and seeing anew the community I’ve known, and it’s various changes, my entire life. The wall of the stadium I used to foolishly walk along, 3-4 stories up, when I was 13. There’s the guy I painted houses with for a time back in ’04, but I won’t bother saying hi – he wouldn’t recognize me shaven anyway. Now a package going to the weightlifting, art collecting father of a good friend, where I did some work when I was with the art installer two years ago – do they give me factotum props or think I’m a grasping loser? Hopefully we won’t be stopping at the home of the long ago x-girlfriend down the street, whose parents would assuredly try to kill me, if they knew or recognized, which surely would not be the case.
You gain new respect for these guys, these delivery drivers. Drop off is only half the game. After the overnight, then “ground” speed-rate deliveries, come dozens of pick ups, including plenty of heavy objects from various factories around the area. My favorite part is getting a glimpse of what goes on in dozens of would-be anonymous small warehouses in the area: Chinese people loading produce and seafood into vans, who knew there was a small coffee distributor tucked away back here? Or this Vespa mechanic?
It also becomes obvious how much a driver knows about the area and lives on his route, not really from being nosey, but a part of doing the job well. “There is no 3567 on that street”, for example, “it’s a bad address”. People with home businesses get lots of deliveries and the smart ones are friendly and give a Christmas tip. Neighbors talk about one another. “These are like 9 Inch Nails people, they don’t come out in the daylight…Columbine shit.” And it quickly becomes obvious who has dogs and roughly what size they are. “There’s where the lady yelled at me that time for ringing the doorbell when her baby had just fallen asleep. But I was just doing the job. Without a note how was I supposed to know that?”
Overall, it’s interesting to see the dehumanizing effect that goes on. You are Delivery Driver, not a person with any scope beyond that. Everyone thinks there’s is the most important business, there’s the most important package. “We aren’t quite ready, could you come back for the pick up in half an hour?” The answer is obviously no, and if you stopped to think, you’d become aware of the exponential nature of afternoon holiday traffic on the main boulevard. Everyone has a story about a botched delivery, or sour interaction, but these are far in the statistical minority. You aren’t thinking about the mistakes that might have gone on with the truck loading, number-crunchers at the top still bitter about the strike of ’97, the way other drivers seem to think delivery trucks are as slow as MARTA buses (when in fact the opposite is true) and don’t want to let them into traffic. You forget there are people attempting to assume the roles of magical robots for your convenience.
Chi-li rides again!
You’re sure to drop a few pounds over the next few weeks despite the crappy payday. I spent several months in late 2005/early 2006 laboring for Big Brown (made it past the X-mas season and was offered PT status) in the Pleasantdale hub. I toiled alongside several don’t-give-a-shitters in the twilight small sort area for a measly $8.50 an hour while Amy was pregnant with Stella. I became one of the 50% turnover statistic at the branch soon thereafter.
However, the ‘tenured’ drivers out there more often than not are sitting pretty with stock options and fat checks. But how can I forget the ‘dehumanization’ on parade in Chamblee?! It’s easy when you’re stuck inside a sorting hub rather than riding shotgun with the wind blowing in your face: a currently clean-shaven melon-mug!
Merry Christmas, now where’s my Schoenhut Elite Spinet Piano with Bench from Creativity Institute?
Yeah, whenever I try to picture doing time in “the hub”, I don’t smile. Stress on the outside is one thing, plenty of other stimulus to bounce around in the mix. And the time flies. In the hub I picture time crawling, shooting back pain, knife fights. What’s with the security in that place anyway? Ain’t no one trying to lift your practice DIAD…
You’re gonna wanna file a claim on that SESPw/B, boss…it done fell off the truck.
You need to start the itinerant odd jobs blog. I had no idea about tipping. Perhaps that would take care of packages that are left too conspicuously on the porch that always seem to get stolen. I pity you because it seems in my hood that the “assistant” is the one doing all the package running.
UPS is successful because they rock. DHL are the retards that should be driving ice cream trucks. Do tell more about the technology behind it all. I love seeing that a package in en route from Forest Park.
Well, with the tipping I meant people running home business’ with (heavy) pick-ups going out often. My step-dad sells AV electronics on ebay for example, and they are tight with their driver, and actually have romanticized notions about the entire corporation. But I can’t fool you MUS, with utopian fables of corporate efficiency…
I got a cool driver from the first and have managed to stay with him each day so far. He does more than his fair share and doesn’t “bitch” me. But there are times when we are both sprinting, sweating, do to shear volume, time/traffic constraints and “package vehicle” loader ineptitude. But loading, of course, is another department with it’s own numbers and quotas, and even my driver’s boss doesn’t have much hammer to drop on our behalf. So despite obvious need for flow and holistic thinking, at times departments work against one another, as per the law of unintended consequences. Meanwhile number crunchers who lift nothing heavier than golfclubs, and computers, which run simulations confused with reality, constantly mandate genius ideas to step over a dollar trying to save 50 cents. But as you mention, others seem to do it even worse.
Have you ever heard about one of the founders of DHL though? Apparently he was a wanderer type, despite his wealth, and when he died, paternity money claims came from various villages and hidden corners throughout the Pacific. It’s an ethic more rastafari than christian, but I won’t judge him on it… Anyway, R.I.P. DHL, Big Brown is swallowing up their remains.
More to follow…possibly