Watchmen review
Posted March 24, 2009 
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The following rules should be applied to all future films:
- Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkeries” can never again be used during Vietnam attack footage. Coppola did it 30 years ago. It was great then, but is just lame now.
- Midgets are no longer weird or scary, even prison midgets. Especially the guy who played Kramer’s lil buddy on Seinfeld.
- So you love Bob Dylan, I do too. But three of his songs in an unrelated film, once by him, once by Hendrix and once by some power pop punk band during the ending credits is excessive.
- Using that “Hallelujuah” song by Leonard Cohen or whoever the fuck is very likely to make a scene silly. This is definitely the case during a sex scene where a guy with ED discovers his costume is his mojo.
- There is a major difference between idealized fake violence and stylized real violence. I’m sick of watching choreographed fights where people trade punches like a routine. Real fights often look spastic due to the adrenal factor.
- Anyone whose had their head come in contact with stone tiles or porcelain after flying through the air is very likely to lose consciousness. At the very least they are going to be woozy.
- That CG lynx/cat thing looked like shit
